I was energetically drained, in the clutches of existential despair, frustrated by my clients’ inability to make progress.Īngered at my own limitations in the pursuit of their care and my own, and deeply constricted by a free-floating sluggishness and dissatisfaction that made me question the point of everything. Sitting in the rocking chair with my bowl of oatmeal in such a serene setting, I suddenly felt how hollowed out my life had become.

Then one day I fainted out of the blue-full-on passed out at a friend’s house, which terrified everyone. Persistent gut issues, which had plagued me for years, now made me feel heavy and constantly weighed down.

This was particularly upsetting, especially during the few times when it happened in session with clients. There was the brain fog, which would cloud me so thoroughly that I sometimes not only forgot words or phrases but entered a complete state of blankness. On top of it all, I was experiencing physical issues that had become so acute that I could no longer ignore them. Instead I felt outside myself, detached, emotionless. I should have been happy, or, at the very least, content. She often challenged me in ways that I felt were exciting. Whereas I was hesitant and often disengaged, Lolly was passionate and headstrong. After years of being in relationships yet feeling emotionally alone, I had finally met a person who felt right because she was so different from me.

I still felt like there was something essential in my being that was lost or missing or had never been there in the first place. I didn’t believe that I was in any way unique in my general feelings and experiences. “You’re burnt out,” my partner, Lolly, offered. As I ate my breakfast, I pored through the pages of another psychologist’s book, my version of a “beach read.” The topic? Emotionally unavailable mothers.Īs I read it-for professional enrichment, or so I believed-the words activated an unexpected, and confusing, emotional response. I was in upstate New York with my partner, Lolly, on what was supposed to be a vacation, a retreat from the stress of city life in Philadelphia. How to Do the Work PDF Book by Nicole LePera Name of Book Mine happened in a log cabin in the middle of the woods, where I found myself sobbing uncontrollably into a bowl of oatmeal. Poets and mystics always seem to have their transcendental awakenings somewhere divine-on a mountaintop, while staring off into the open sea, by a babbling brook, next to a burning bush. Click here to Download How to Do the Work PDF Book by Nicole LePera English having PDF Size 7.3 MB and No of Pages 261.

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